Childish Matters
by snowflower90
Summary: Curse you Alfred and curse you Fairies for making a mess out of everything. When Alfred decides to throw a small party at Arthur's house while the Brit is practicing magic, things get out of control and several of the nations get turned into kids. How the heck are they going to get out of this one?
1. Oh no

**A/N: Okay just fair warning some of these characters I have never written before so they might be totally out of character and I apologize ahead of time so don't expect too much. Also, this is meant to be a funny story so don't take it too seriously.**

 **Disclaimer: Still don't and never will own any fandom ever... That includes Hetalia. But enjoy anyway.**

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 **Chapter 1: Oh no...**

Arthur knew he had made a mistake as soon as the dust had settled. The commotion upstairs had gone silent. He checked himself first. The last time the fairies got involved, he was turned into a woman. Luckily, nothing had changed on him.

Carefully, he snuck upstairs. Arthur sucked in a deep breath and cracked the door to peek inside. In the room where Alfred had been throwing a small party, there were now several sleeping children, all around the age of five years.

Arthur quickly shut the door. How many people did Alfred invite? How was he going to return his friends back to normal? Questions were filling his head and he was beginning to feel dizzy. One thing he knew, however, was that when they all woke up most of them were going to kill him and he wasn't ready.

The British man was just about to go find the fairies and demand them to fix this mess, but he heard the sound that he was dreading the most.

"Dude, your a kid," Alfred laughed, his voice much younger sounding.

"So are you, burger bas…" a clear young Italian voice grumbled. It was clearly Lovino.

Elizabeta scolded him. "Don't you even think about say those naughty curse words while we are kids."

"But we aren't kids," Lovino argued.

"Well, we are trapped in kids bodies right now," Elizabeta said as sternly as her child voice would let her. "Just don't or I will hit you with one of Arthur's pans."

"Shouldn't we be more concerned with the fact that we are kids," Lukas' younger voice said. "How did we even get like this anyway?"

"The last thing I remember is I was doing an awesome song cover and then I blacked out." A squeaky voiced Gilbert remembered.

"Hey guys," Vlad said, his Romanian accent thicker as a child. "Where's Artie?"

Arthur heard some shuffling around in the living room and then a sound that made him fear for his life.

Slowly the door creaked open an a pair of red eyes stared at him. They looked him over and then back at the child's body they were trapped in. A smile came to the child's face as he turned around in his over-sized clothes.

"Lukas, I found him," Vlad announced. "You should come see this."

Lukas stumbled to the door, fighting the pant legs that were twice the length of his own legs. When he finally arrived his eyes grew wide and he looked over to his Romanian friend.

"What did you do?" His child voice came out cold and accusing.

Arthur sat up straight and cleared his throat. "It wasn't my fault. The bloody fairies got involved and it was too late to cancel the spell. They messed it up and now this." The British man gestured at his friends.

Vlad and Lukas shared a knowing look and shrugged.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Vlad asked.

Lukas tried to pull up his sleeves but they failed to stay up. "First, we need to explain to the others what has happened."

"They're not going to believe us," Arthur pointed out.

"Really they have no choice," the Norwegian said. "Then we need to find some clothes that fit us. I better get a hold of Tino and tell him I won't be home tonight."

"I probably should call Nikola too," Vlad stated.

Arthur quickly jumped in, "No! You can't call. They'll know something's wrong when they hear your voices. Just send them a text or email. The last thing I need is angry nations knocking on my door demanding to know why you guys are suddenly children." The Englishman was becoming more frantic.

Before anything else could be said there was a shout in the living room followed by whining. Vlad and Lukas went back in to investigate. It wasn't long before Vlad called to Arthur for help.

Upon entering the room, Arthur found Elizabeta trying to hit Gilbert with the fire poker. Alfred and Lovino were laughing so hard, Arthur was sure they were going to pee their pants. He quickly went to Gilbert's rescue, retrieving the makeshift weapon from Elizabeta.

"Hey, I was using that," the female nation pouted.

"She was trying to kill me," Gilbert said trying to get away from her but was having a rough time in the over-sized clothes.

Liz pointed at the albino boy and growled, "I wouldn't have to kill you if you would be nicer." She turned to Arthur. "He said I looked like a boy and that I was too stuck up to know what was going on."

Arthur turned to Gilbert, "Really?"

"I was just kidding. She's the one who is being super bossy." Gil pouted.

Alfred looked at Arthur and pointed out, "Why aren't you trapped in a kids body? How did we even get like this?"

"Yeah, scone bas…" Lovino started to say but then saw the look Liz was giving him.

Arthur looked at Vlad, who gave him a thumbs up. "I'll try to explain but don't you guys want some clothes that actually fit you?"

All of them agreed that it would make life easier. Arthur went to the attic and found a box full of Alfred's old clothes. He couldn't ever bring himself to get rid of them and now he was happy he hadn't. It didn't take long for him to hand out outfits that seemed to work for everyone. Even Elizabeta ended up with a dress that was suitable for her.

When Arthur pulled the dress out, Alfred face turned bright red. "You kept that?" His child voice became even higher pitched from embarrassment.

"Yes. I actually forgot about that until now," Arthur laughed.

Lovino looked at Alfred with a mischievous smile. "You wore dresses as a kid, Al?"

"No." Alfred said defensively. "Allistor came over one time and forced me to wear it. That jerk. You said you got rid of it." Alfred glared at Arthur.

"I thought I did," the Brit replied giving the dress to the Hungarian girl. She left the room to change.

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After everyone was changed into clothing that actually fit them, the 'kids' gathered on the couch. Arthur took a seat on the chair across from them.

"Start explaining," Liz demanded.

"Not like your going to believe me." Arthur sighed. "I was trying out a spell and some fairies arrived. They tampered with the ritual and when I finally realized it there was no time to stop." Arthur looked down. "I thought I would be the one affected but I guess you were the fairies' targets. Probably all the noise you were making."

Lovino straightened up and looked ticked off. "You are trying to say that fairies turned us physically into children. That is a bunch of…" the Italian trailed off.

"I know," Arthur said. "It's the truth though. Vlad, Lukas and I are going to try to find a way to fix it."

"It may take a few days," Lukas added.

"A few days!?" Liz's green eyes widened. "There's a meeting the day after tomorrow."

There was a collective freak out. Everyone had forgotten about the meeting and they were not wanting to be seen in their current state.

"So, two days?" Alfred sighed. "Two days."

"I know you guys don't believe Arthur, but we will do our best to undo what was done." The young Norwegian said.

The group gave each other looks of disbelief but they really had no other option except to trust Arthur, Vlad and Lukas.

"What are we going to do?" Elizabeta asked. "I can't go home like this. Roderich would freak."

"My boss would flip if he saw me like this," Alfred laughed.

"Tomato ba…" Lovino started to say but looked over to Elizabeta who was giving him not so nice looks. The Italian swallowed hard and restarted. "Antonio would be unbearable."

After a few minutes of consideration, Arthur sighed. "Everyone can stay here. I have spare rooms that everyone can stay in."

The group of 'children' agreed, but only because they really had no other choice. Arthur let out a heavy sigh and headed back towards the basement.

"Wait!" Alfred ran after his older brother. "You're just going to leave us alone?"

"Why wouldn't I? I need to clean up the mess down stairs and find my spell books that might help fix this mess. Besides, you lot might be stuck in children's bodies but your minds are still that of adults," Arthur pointed out.

"Yeah, but what if Lizzy tries to murder one of us again?" Alfred questioned, eyes slightly wider than normal.

"Don't say anything to make her mad. See, simple solution." The older male turned back to go to the basement. "It'll only take me a few minutes anyway. I am sure you can survive without me."

The American nation let out a whine but returned to the living room while dragging his feet.

Rubbing his forehead, Arthur continued to the basement wondering how he was going to fix this mess.

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 **Hope you enjoyed. Review if you liked it, please.**


	2. Canada to the Rescue

**A/N: Here we are again with another chapter. Big shout out to GreyLand1575 for the nice review. My goal for this story is to update at a decent pace but I ask for your patience because break is over and back to work I go.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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 **Chapter 2: Canada to the Rescue**

It was nearly two hours later before Arthur reemerged from the basement with a stack of books and covered in dust. The Brit found most of the 'child' nations moping around in the living room. If he was being honest, he was surprised that the house was still standing and not on fire.

The Hungarian girl was laying across the couch staring at the ceiling with a grumpy looked on her face. Across the room, Alfred and Lovino were tapping away on their phones with their backs to Elizabeta, obviously avoiding her fury. In front of his fireplace sat Vlad and Lukas chatting and putting wood in. The loud Prussian was nowhere to be found.

"Where is Gilbert?" The Englishman asked.

"In timeout," Elizabeta huffed. "And he can stay there all night for all I care." She sat up and stomped off in the direction of the kitchen.

With a heavy sigh, Arthur inquired. "What did he do this time?"

"Told her to stop being a baby and cook us something. She got mad and hit him with the book that was on the coffee table, multiple times, then dragged him off somewhere." His Norwegian friend explained.

"Don't worry, Iggy. There was no blood," Alfred assured his older brother. "At least the last time we saw him there wasn't."

"I'll take care of that later. Are you chaps hungry?" Arthur asked.

There was a collective affirmation from all of the nations. However when they saw the Brit heading for the kitchen, they all began to protest and freak out.

"Scone ba… You are not cooking! I am not going to die here." Lovino objected.

At the same time the American was ranting, "I am not doing that again. Do you know how long it took me to get over the nightmare your cooking put me through. I had to have years of counselling."

"I'd rather have Nikola see me like this than eat your cooking." Vlad remarked.

"My cooking isn't that bad," Arthur snapped. "Maybe I should let all of you figure out how to turn yourselves back if you are going to be like that."

Before anyone could protest further there was a soft knock on the front door. Everyone froze. After a few more silent seconds there was another soft knock. The transformed nations all hid while Arthur went to answer the door.

"Good evening, Arthur," came the small peep of his younger Canadian brother. "I'm here."

Arthur stared at him for a moment before he realized, it was the fourth Wednesday of the month. Matthew always came over on the fourth Wednesday as a sort of check in and they always had dinner together. "Uh… Good evening, Matthew."

"Don't tell me you forgot again." A frown formed on the younger male's lips.

"O-of course not!"

"Well, then can I come in?"

"About that… I don't think this is a good time. Could we have lunch during the world meeting and catch up then?" Arthur was trying to figure out a way to keep the Canadian out.

 _Ding._

Matthew pulled out his phone to check the message that he just received. As he read it his eyes grew wide. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Arthur laughed nervously.

"I just got a text from Gilbert saying that he is locked in your pantry." The young blond showed his brother the message.

 _ **Gil: Save me, Birdie! I'm unawesomely trapped in Arthur's pantry… I think the cow put me here.**_

The bushy browed man let out a sigh. "He's fine. I think he is just drunk again."

Before Arthur could further his attempt his goal of getting the Canadian to leave, Elizabeta walked into the living room in full view of Matthew.

"H-Hungary… What happened?" Matthew stuttered.

The color drained out of the young girls face as she realized that she had been caught. The rest of the nations that were trapped in children bodies emerged from their hiding spots. As they came out Matthew's eyes grew even wider.

"What did you do?" His violet eyes looked accusingly at the Brit.

"Why the bloody hell are you blaming me instantly?" Arthur snapped back.

"You're the only one who isn't a child and you're the one who practices black magic." Matthew knew all about his older brother experiences in magic because as a kid he witnessed many mishaps. "Wait… does that mean Gil is a kid too?"

"Well, you see…" Arthur trailed off.

From behind him there was a high pitched laugh. "Dude, you're boyfriend is a kid. So that makes you a pedophile."

"H-he's not my b-boyfriend," the Canadian sputtered, his face turning a deep shade of red.

"And I'm a girl." Alfred retorted. "You can't lie to me about that. I saw you two on a date last weekend."

"N-no you didn't. And you could be a girl. I mean you did wear dresses when we were kids." Matthew said trying to change the subject away from his love life.

Little Alfred stomped his foot and glared at his brother. "You know that was not by choice! It's all Uncle Allistor's fault."

With a pout Alfred headed back to the living room. Matthew was about to ask about who was all changed to kids but his phone dinged and distracted him. With a sigh he pushed passed his older brother and headed towards the kitchen.

Arthur followed close behind to see what was about to take place. He silently watched as the Canadian untie the belt that was holding the pantry doors closed. As soon as the blond was done the doors flew open and the small albino child jump up and nearly tackled Matthew.

"Birdie, you are so awesome. I knew you would come and save me from that beastly cow." The Prussian cried.

"Umm.. An-any time Gil."

"We have a problem now though. We can't go on our totally awesome weekend getaway because I'm a kid and my passport doesn't match my appearance." He pouted. Then he realized that Arthur was in the room and he swallowed hard. "I mean… I can't go out of country by myself."

The Brit folded his arms and eyed his younger brother and the white haired child. Matthew let out a heavy sigh.

"Fine. Oui. I am dating Gilbert but I don't think now is the time to discuss that. We have a bigger problem on our hands," he pointed to Gilbert. "How are we going to change him and Al back to adults? And how many kids are there?"

Arthur huffed in frustration. "I'm trying to, you git! However, I keep getting interrupted by the little things. They can't get along and every time I turn around I have to rescue that one." He pointed at Gilbert. "Because he has done something to make Elizabeta mad."

Of course, the Canadian wasn't thrilled to hear this. He knew the ongoing feud between the nation and ex-nation, but lately it had been ridiculous. Matthew folded his arms and stared at the albino child.

"What?" Gilbert shrugged. "It's not my fault the cow gets offended so easily."

"Gil." The Canadian growled. In all honesty, Arthur was surprised to hear that kind of tone come from his younger brother.

"Alright, alright. I will stop messing with her, Birdie. It is not awesome when you are mad." Gilbert put his hands up in surrender.

The lavender-eyed blonde nodded in approval and turned back to the Brit. "I'm sorry he's been causing you trouble. How many have been turned to children?"

After thinking for a few minutes, Arthur announced, "As far as I know only six."

"Six?!" Matthew squeaked. Counting on his fingers he named the ones he knew. "Alfred, Gil, and I'm assuming Liz. So, who are the other three?"

Before Arthur could even get a word out all of the children nations came running into the kitchen.

"So, Alfred was telling the truth for once," Vlad laughed.

Behind him Alfred let out an irritated huff. "I tell the the truth almost all of the time."

"Sure you do, cheeseburger idiota," the child Italian smirked.

Peeking his head in, the Norwegian waved before heading back to the living room where he had been looking though some of Arthur's magic books.

"What's Matthew doing here?" Elizabeta asked as she sat down.

Gilbert stuck his tongue out at her. "To save the awesome me from your craziness. Birdie is super awesome."

"Gil, don't make her mad again," Matthew warned. "I originally came to have my monthly check in dinner with Arthur."

"You still do those? Well anyway maybe you can help is out then," Elizabeta smiled as she clapped her hands, as if she had some amazing plan.

"How can I do that?"

"We're all too short to safely cook and we've all agreed that we don't trust Arthur's cooking," the Hungarian girl stated. "Now don't you dare give me those looks Arthur or maybe I should call Francis and tell him that you need his help."

"NO!" Arthur screeched. "Don't you dare."

Letting out a sigh, Matthew decided to do something that wasn't like him. "Enough!" He raised his voice. Although it was still on the quiet side, everyone turned and looked at him. Now that the attention was on him, Matthew started feeling his anxiety levels rising. "Uh…" He took and deep breath. "Please stop arguing. I'll stay and help. I can cook everyone meals and keep things under control until Arthur figures out how to change everyone back."

After a few minutes of silence, everyone agreed that was probably the best course of action. Arthur told Vlad that he should finish helping Lukas look through the books that were in the living room. Alfred and Lovino left to watch a movie in the family room. Shortly after Elizabeta choos to check on Vlad and Lukas to see if they had made any progress.

As Arthur was leaving the kitchen he overheard part of the Prussian and Canadian's conversation.

"No, Birdie, you did amazing. They won't be mad."

"But I was being bossy and…" Matthew's breath sounded as if he were about to hyperventilate.

There was a child's laugh. "That was not being bossy. That was taking control of a situation that was only going to get worse. That was also letting people know your opinion." After a quiet whisper from the Canadian, he only heard Gilbert's tender reply. "I'm proud of you, Birdie."

At that moment, Arthur decided that he wasn't against his brother dating the Prussian. If anything this relationship was bringing out the best in both of them. He even became more determined to fix this whole mix up.

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 **A/N: If you feel like it review.**


	3. Solutions are Never Simple

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update. I had intended for this to be out two weeks ago but I came down sick with the Influenza A and was stuck in bed for four days. Then it took me a little bit longer to get back into the swing of balancing work and writing. Anyways I am back! And boy do I have plans for this story now. *Evil Grins***

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will work hard to get another one out in a timely manner. Don't forget to check out some of my other stories. Also if you want to I really appreciate reviews!**

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Chapter 3: Solutions are Never Simple

After Matthew served everyone a delicious meal of macaroni and cheese alongside some fried cod, the current household decided to settle down in the living room. Alfred, Vlad, and Lovino lay sprawled out on the couch watching an action movie. Arthur was sitting in his chair going through more of his dusty spellbooks with Likas at his feet doing the same. Surprising, Gilbert and Elizabeta were sitting in the middle of the floor space playing a game of chess without arguing.

Matthew was in the other room on the phone with Ludwig trying to get their meeting postponed to allow a larger time frame to get the whole mess figured out. Of course the Canadian couldn't exactly tell the German nation the complete truth about what was going on, so he settled for telling the older nation that the group has all come down ill. He assured Ludwig that Arthur was helping him to care for the nations and that he had not been cooking for any of their 'sick' friends.

"NO!" Matthew raised his voice as he walked back into the living room. "I'm sorry. I just meant we have everything under control and it is no use bringing in more people to only get them sick as well… Yes. I understand that… Of course… Tell Feliciano that Lovino is being cared for… Yes, I will call you if he causes too much trouble or tries anything illegal… Ludwig, I think I can handle him by now… Alright. Good-bye."

Lovino looked at him wide eyed. "Potato idiota thinks I'll do something illegal?"

"No, he was talking about Gil at that point. He is going to send out an email later to let everyone that the meeting was postponed until a later date do to an outbreak among some of the nations." Matthew explained. "Ludwig is also going to tell everyone to stay away until further notice, so our 'sickness' doesn't spread any further."

The others nodded in approval. The thick eyebrowed man looked up from his book with a smile. "I think I found out how to cure out issue."

"Dude, really!?" Alfred's child voice squeaked out.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me dude, you git?" Arthur scolded. "But yes I finally found the bloody text that tells what we need to do to fix this."

Vlad's ears perked up. "Well, what is it?"

"It's actually pretty simple and I don't know why we didn't think about it ourselves. All we need to do is go to the Fairy Queen and request a spell reversal." The Brit explained as he scanned the page again.

Most of the group let out an excited cheer. However, Lukas just let out a sigh. "That means we have to travel."

"What do you mean, butter idiota?" Lovino said voicing the question that everyone was thinking. The group looked at him quizzically.

"Troll keeps me updated on the news that happens in the magical realms. About two months ago the fairies shifted rulers. The current queen is located in Scotland." Lukas sat silently as the new information settled over the group.

Arthur let out a curse under his breath.

"We can't travel like this!" Elizabeta squeaked. "Can't she just come here?"

The young Romanian laughed. "You can't ask for her to come here and then ask her for a reversal spell. _We_ have to go _there_ and even then we have to make a special offer for her to even consider helping us."

"Okay, but going to Scotland means having to pass the border. We need passports for that. Even as kids we need to have passports and ID for international travel. We can't use our current ones because they don't match our bodies." Elizabeta sighed. "Now what?"

Alfred had been sitting there quietly after Elizabeta pointed out that they had a problem over the passports and IDs. After a few minutes the self proclaimed hero told the others, "I know how we can get some quick fake passports and IDs. We have to bring in another person though."

"Who is it?" Vlad asked.

At the same time Arthur asked, "How do you know about faking passports and IDs?"

The blue eyed child looked at his violet eyed sibling. Matthew nodded knowing that they could no longer avoid this. "Well you see, when Mattie and I were younger we knew this person who knew how to make counterfeit IDs . At one point we had him make us one so we could get into R-rated movies and other places where you had to be a certain age."

"You two are in so much trouble after this is all done!" Arthur said, his tone beyond angry.

"Nice Birdie. I didn't know you had it in you. So, who is this mystery person?" Gilbert grinned at the Canadian.

"Mathias." The blond said pulling his phone out.

"Oh no. We are NOT bringing him into this. I will never hear the end of it." The Norwegian youth said through clenched teeth. "I would rather stay a child before letting him hold this over my head."

"I hate to break it to you Lu but he will still end up seeing you as a kid either way. I mean we can't avoid the meetings forever and you will eventually have to go back home." The American informed his friend.

After a few minutes of arguing back and forth the group finally settled on letting Mathias in on the situation. Matthew was tasked with calling him and getting the Dane to come over without letting him know what was going on prematurely.

Luckily it didn't take much to convince him to come over and he was planning on being there the very next day. Afterwards Elizabeta, Lovino, Lukas and Vlad decided to head to bed for the night. The albino made it known that he was too awesome to go to bed any time before eleven o'clock. Alfred decided to stay up with his brothers to discuss their other situation.

"We're going to have to call him," Matthew pointed out.

"Bugger off. We don't have to tell him anything." The older nation said crossing his arms.

Exchanging glances with the others, Alfred let out a sigh. "He'll find out as soon as we cross the border and you know as well as Mattie and I do that he will come looking for you to find out why you are there."

"I'm not calling him. Mathew can handle this one."

"I've handled the other things, besides he will want to hear from you more than me." The Canadian expressed.

"I'm not going to call him." Arthur protested in frustration.

Before another word could be spoken, the American child nation walked over to the Brit's home phone and picked it up. He quickly dialed a number and held it as it started to ring. Only when a voice on the other side sounded did he force the phone into his older brother's hand.

As the thick eyebrowed man glared at his sibling, he replied, "Hello Allistor."


End file.
